I started blogging in about 2012 and wrote a series of blogs about travelling, which developed into blogs about travelling with Crohns Disease. These were posted on the ForCrohns site, a charity I was involved with and raised money for, which involved carrying out several challenges. Sadly, this charity folded during Covid for various reasons, but a great deal of money was raised for research into this disease which has no cure. My next book will include some of these blogs.
I didn’t include much about travelling with Crohns in my trip to South Africa blog but when I put this chapter together, I will include a sentence or two about when I urgently needed to stop in the middle of Kruger National Park to go to the toilet behind a tree. Not allowed! Here is my first effort which I wrote in the summer of 2012.
First blog post ever! Trip to South Africa.
Well…. here it is. Everyone else is doing it and I am sure that mine won’t be as funny/interesting/erudite as any of the others I read! Got to get to grips with the technology of blog posting first. In a week’s time I will be heading to South Africa and this will be my first visit. My Lonely Planet guide is full of useful tips especially the ones about encounters of the wild kind, such as: if a rhino charges at you and there isn’t a convenient tree to climb, stand your ground and face the charge, swerving at the
last minute bullfighter style. As for lions, if there is one outside your tent, lie still but if you should encounter one in the bush do not on any account turn and run as you will be mistaken for prey. Stare it out! Walk backwards if you have to and keep your eyes peeled for any more lions that may be watching on your flanks. As for crocodiles…. assume the worst. My hunt for a three-pronged round adaptor has proved fruitless in this country. Too dangerous to try to plug anything in apparently. Car-jacking is a worry and I have been told to wear no jewellery and not to take my phone. Aside from all that, it promises to be minus three in the Drakensburg Mountains. The nurse who I saw this morning advised me to pop over to QD and get a onesie. I have OF COURSE got a leopard print one. Now that could confuse the animals when I pop out of my tent for a wee in the night.
I think I got a fair amount of practise with the robbers in South America but I have not before had any close up and personals with wild animals. (not counting the time the deer jumped out in front of me and hit my car on the A146 on the way to Lowestoft)
Anyway…. watch this space..
A tale of two lions. Somewhere in Kruger National Park.
Due to rolling blackouts and remote Wi-Fi free locations, my “travels in South Africa ” blog failed to come to fruition. What follows is a condensed version and a memory which will stay with me for some time to come.
In search of the Big Five, we were prised from our sleeping bags in the early morning darkness by the lovely Mike, our guide. With a slight paunch, a balding pate, OCD tendencies and an annoying habit of saying “yis” at the end of every sentence, he was also curiously….. sexy. It could have been his ability to whip up a three -course meal on the braai in the blink of an eye or his fascination and passion for things with wings and four legs but he did it for my friend and me. Like a couple of smitten kittens, we jostled for a place up front with the man, sharing his binoculars and hanging on his every word. “Did you know that elephants have their sex organs on the bottom of their feet?” Me: “Really?” “Yes. If one stands on you, you’re f…..cked”.
On this particular morning my friend had the coveted front seat. Almost blasé now at the sight of impala, elephants, giraffes and rhinoceros crossing our path we demanded that Mike should provide us with the real deal now that we were in Kruger. “Wake me up when the lions come” came the cry from the back of the truck. Suddenly they came! Two male lions, one of which looked as if he had been transported straight from Narnia, appeared as if by magic in front of us. They padded silently ahead of us and we followed, cameras flashing and videos rolling. Suddenly one turned. The truck stopped abruptly. “Keep your arms in, no photos and keep quiet” Mike barked. He was kidding. I wasn’t even breathing. I wondered if Mike had a gun about his person.
The lion was six inches from my shoulder. He stared into my eyes and I stared back. He sniffed disdainfully and turned and walked away. We all breathed out. “Happy Days!” came a sigh from the back. “Now can we have some breakfast?” That was a MOMENT!
Next instalment will be from Australia. I don’t think they have lions.
